Almost Like A Friend
by moonshoespotter101
Summary: When times get tougher, Arthur realizes just how much he needs Merlin by his side. Magic reveal and enough bromance to stock a shop. Or a 13 chapter Merlin fanfic.
1. Chapter 1

'RUN!'

The silent woodland was suddenly filled with the sound of yells and frantically running feet as the knights of Camelot burst through the trees, a flurry of red and gold as they flew past, running for their lives. First came the oldest and most loyal dedication to the helm, Sir Leon, his sword long returned to it's sheath as hopelessness had become slowly apparent to them all. Closely trailing him was Sir Gwaine, his friendly, laugh-filled face a mask of terror and desperation as he fled, his eyes continuously darting behind him to confirm the pursuit of a young boy in blue and red, who was sprinting just behind, struggling to keep up though helped by the careful but firm grip of King Arthur who, though would refuse to admit it, was not going to let his servant get left behind.

They neared a narrow gap in the forest floor, below it the pit that lead to the Valley Of Fallen Kings, and for the spilt second it took Sir Leon to get to the edge, he had made the decision to leap straight over, hastily followed by Gwaine. Arthur and the boy arrived at the gap mere seconds later and the young King mimicked the action of his knights, but the servant following behind had not the experience nor the strength of the latter, and his jump was not as successful. He leaped and landed awkwardly on the other side. He cursed as he felt his ankle snap beneath him before he even had time to register the pain that would surely follow. Deciding not to give his bad luck the satisfaction of crippling him, he hobbled to his feet, speeding towards his friends and his master, who had taken shelter behind a fallen oak tree. A moment passed as he flung himself down beside them, before he cried out in pure agony at the mess of shattered bones that was the remains of his left foot.

'What happened to him?' Gwaine switched his position with that of his King and gently pulled up the servant's tattered trousers to reveal the damage that the fall had inflicted on the boy, who was now biting down hard on his red neckerchief to keep himself from screaming.

'Good god...' Arthur Pendragon leapt to his servant's side as he examined the oddly shaped, clearly agonising ankle. 'He RAN on this? What the hell were you thinking, Merlin? Merlin...?'

Arthur looked up at the warlock to see his chalk white face trembling, and his eyes brimming as he attempted to reply.

'I...could... couldn't let... some... prat like...like you...beat... beat me here.'

'Believe me, even if I had no legs at all, you still wouldn't have a chance in hell.'

A chuckle seeped past Merlin's lips, only for him to press them together again as he exhaled shakily out through his nose.

'Shhh. It's alright' He turned to the men behind him. 'We need to get him back to Gaius. Give me a hand'

The two knights each grabbed underneath Merlin's arms and hauled him to his feet.

'No worries I've got him'

Gwaine lifted the boy carefully over his shoulder, making sure nothing was in contact with anything below his kneecap, and started off for the magnificent castle which had suddenly emerged from beyond the hills. Merlin opened his eyes and smiled weakly. Camelot. Home. His last thought was of the hot bath that was surely waiting for him as he lowered his head and succumbed to the pain free release this sudden sleep would grant him.


	2. Chapter 2

'Merlin.'

A voice sailed into the subconscious of the young warlock, making his eyelids flutter in reflex. He tried to open them fully but it was like they were made of lead, impossible to pry open.

'Merlin.'

The boy forced his lids to retract, not that it did much good as the world he was brought into was nothing more than a blur of shapes and colours. As his vision sharpened, he could begin to perceive the outline of his mentor, who was hovering over him, his face half concerned, half amused as he watched Merlin shield his face from the sudden brightness of the small room. 'You're up then.'

'Yeah.' Merlin mumbled, blinking several times before finally settling his eyes on the old man before him, who smiled.

'It's about time too. Arthur is convinced that you were faking it to get the day off.' Gaius stood and strode over to the small table opposite the bed Merlin lay on, and brought back a small bottle of rose-coloured liquid. 'Drink.'

Merlin did what he was told, pouring it straight down his throat in such a way that he had learnt from previous encounters with Gaius' potions, was the best way.

'Good to know he wasn't getting himself worked up over the fact that his best manservant was passed out.' He shuddered as he felt the liquid burn the inside of his stomach. Unfortunately, the affects of the potion were almost immediate, and Merlin was suddenly reminded of his shattered ankle that had in no way become any less excruciating. He yelped and gripped the side of his bedside, his eyes welded shut once more, tears threatening to spill over his prominent cheekbones.

Gaius winced at the clear distress of his ward, but knew that it would not last for long. Sure enough, after a few minutes, the boy's white knuckles began to colour again as he slowly released his bed covers and sighed gratefully as he felt his entire foot grow numb and the pain eventually ceased.

'Thank you, Gaius.' Merlin smiled weakly at the physician. 'Sometimes I wonder if you have more magic than me.'

The old man chuckled. 'If only.' He tried to regain some composure in his face again. 'I imagine Arthur will have dressed himself by now.' he said as he heard Merlin mutter something along the lines of, 'wouldn't count on it' which almost made his expression falter again.

'But I'm sure he'll have plenty else for you to get on with.' He walked over and brought back a pair of wooden sticks that appeared to offer some kind of assistance to the young warlock, as became apparent when Gaius positioned them firmly underneath the boy's armpits.

Merlin looked at him questioningly.

'You may not be able to feel the pain anymore, but that doesn't mean it has healed. You cannot put any weight on it at all, understand? It will just make it ten times worse if you do believe me.'

'Ahh, but how can I muck out Arthur horses with one leg? Or do his washing or clean his room...'

'He will have to make do.' The physician said firmly. 'You come first.'

Merlin scoffed. 'I doubt he'll see it that way. You wait, I'll come back tonight with an ankle in worse condition to when I broke it in the first place.'

'You'd better not.' Gaius replied as Merlin exited, the boy laughing as he shut the door behind him with a click.


	3. Chapter 3

Merlin found his crutches rather difficult to manoeuvre as he weaved awkwardly through the hallways of the castle, and more than once he stumbled, only to catch himself before falling flat on his face. His ears turned a violent shade of red as he made his way to Arthur's chambers, cursing whatever these damned things were that Gaius had supplied him with.

Eventually he reached the chamber door of his master, but as he halted outside a small problem became evident to him. Merlin frowned as he stood, clearly unsure of how to handle the simple task that was, opening the door. Leaning all his weight on one crutch, he tucked the other between his legs and turned the door handle, and then kicked it open with his good foot. Right into the face of King Arthur.

'OW!' Arthur stumbled backwards from his door that, seemingly unaided, had just attacked him. Clutching his face he glanced back, only to see his manservant standing there, with a strange, strained look on his face. 'Merlin? Are you o-'

Merlin burst out laughing.

Arthur looked at him with half shock, half slight annoyance as the boy tried to compose himself again, only to take one look at the King's bewildered face, and started to laugh again.

'It is not funny _Merlin_.'

'Really? Because I would disagree Sire, I find it rather funny indeed.'

'Well at least there's no doubt that you're feeling better, so you can get on with whatever it is you do in my room all day, which I will never know because it certainly isn't _cleaning _it.'

With this statement he gestured behind him. Merlin's eyes followed and settled upon the abomination that was the state of Arthur's room. His mouth fell open.

'_How? _I was gone for _one day_ and you manage to do... THIS.'

The King huffed.

'Well I am so used to your annoying presence it has become something of a habit to be... slightly careless with the distribution of my clothes. It wasn't my fault that you weren't here to do your job...'

'I was unconscious you bloody prat. Oh god...' the smell had now reached the warlock's nose. 'This is the stuff nightmares are made of. Do you not even WASH?'

He got no reply however, and so he glanced up at his master, who was staring at Merlin's leg, which was bandaged up neatly, though still showed the clear damage that it had undertaken. Arthur's face was unreadable, yet there was a grimace in his eyes as he gazed upon his servant wound.

The younger felt awkward under the young King's gaze and shifted his foot awkwardly to the side, using one of his crutches to close the door behind him. He could still feel eyes boring into him so he limped away from the door and settled for leaning against the four-poster bed in the centre of the room.

'Are you okay?'

Merlin was slightly taken aback by the question, having not experienced his King expressing any kind of concern for him before. 'Yes. It doesn't hurt any more, Gaius gave me something to numb the pain.'

'Good.' The King composed himself again and stared into the young boys eyes. 'It was one the of the worst breaks I've ever seen.'

Merlin laughed. 'Thanks. That makes me feel loads better.'

'No problem.' Arthur clamped his hand down firmly on his servants shoulder. 'I'm just glad you're alright.'

Suddenly, there was a loud knock on the door, which made both men jump, the action having more affect on Merlin as he struggled to keep upright on his crutches. Arthur chuckled at his friend.

'Enter.'

The door opened to reveal Agravaine standing just outside the door, his expression that of subtle, false concern. An expression that Merlin in particular had grown increasingly suspicious of.

'Sire, your presence is needed in council immediately.'

'Very well, Uncle.' He turned to his servant. 'You can get started on this..' he gestured at his chambers '… while I'm gone.'

'What? But Arthur..'

'You may be crippled Merlin, but you're still my manservant. I want this room spotless for when I return.' And with that, he swept out of the room, leaving a disgruntled Merlin behind him.

'The beast has all but wiped out the underlying villages of Cenred's Kingdom...'

'It will be within Camelot within the week Sire...'

'It is said to be a type of winged animal, Sire...'

Arthur Pendragon looked out upon the sea of people before him, each one supplying him with more information about a new threat that had befallen the land. This beast seemed to be causing a great deal of panic amongst the villagers down in the lower towns, and rumours spread quicker than wildfire, making it hard to distinguish truth from pure exaggeration.

The King raised his hands for silence. He was granted it.

'How fast does it appear to be travelling? How long did it take to attack Cenred's Kingdom?'

'A matter of days, Sire.' Agravaine answered him 'It is supposedly on it's way here as we speak.'

'How many villages were attacked? Which ones?'

'Sire, there were so many...'

'Which ones, Uncle?'

Agravaine drew out a long piece of parchment and began to read various names from it. He was right. There were at least 30 locations that had been breached, and they were only the ones that they knew of. Arthur's ears strained to listen out for any that sounded familiar.

'Cromer, Cantley, Emswell, Wortham...'

He listened intently, as he tried to decipher why small alarm bells had began to ring inside his head at the mention of the beast. Or perhaps the location?

He couldn't quite understand what it was that he made him feel so uneasy.

Then, something inside his head clicked.

He froze.

Cenred's Kingdom.

His father's words echoed in his head.

_'… you live in Cenred's Kingdom. Your safety is his responsibility.'_

'Hythe, Kinallen, Tregaron...'

'_We have appealed to our King, but...'_

'Bramford, Thorndon...'

'_...but he cares little for the outlying regions..'_

'...and a smaller settlement...'

No.

'..named Ealdor, I believe Sire.'


	4. Chapter 4

Arthur Pendragon stared at the dark wooden door, his eyes tracing each minute imperfection in it's design.

Every frayed splinter.

Every pin-prick stain.

He had been in this state for near enough 10 minutes, as every attempt to walk in to the room resulted in him snatching his hand back from the handle, and cursing himself for being so cowardly.

He could hear Merlin singing softly on the other side of the door, as he clambered loudly around the room on those god-for-saken crutches. Crippled, but still managing to be unnaturally happy about it.

A happiness that the king knew that he was going to now extinguish.

Arthur exhaled sharply, and opened the door.

'Merlin.'

'I know, I know, it isn't done yet but have you _any _idea how difficult it is to pick up socks on one leg?'

'Merlin...'

'What I am thinking, of course you haven't because why would you when you have _me _to do everything for you..'

'_Mer_lin.' Arthur repeated, his voice strained.'

'_Ar_thur.'

Merlin swivelled around on his good leg to face his master, but his grin faltered as he saw Arthur's pained expression.

'What happened?'

Arthur's eyes snapped shut and he cringed, pressing his forehead into his fingertips before raising his head to look at the boy before him, whose face was filled with confusion.

'There is a beast roaming across the kingdom, apparently it is a kind of winged animal, and it has been attacking villages in Cenrxed's kingdom. It is brutal. Leaves no known survivors, and it won't be long before it reaches Camelot so we have to be prepared for... what are you doing?'

Merlin had hobbled over to the king's wardrobe and was pulling various items of clothing from it and examining them, before throwing them over his shoulder onto the bed.

'I know where this is going. We are going to have to ride out and attempt to rid the land of this foul creature before it becomes any more of a threat...'

'Merlin..'

'...and so I am packing for the inevitably long journey on which we will have to embark upon as that was probably the next order anyway...'

'_Merlin.'_

_'What?' _

_'_It has attacked, and destroyed, most villages in the heart of the kingdom, as well as those on the border. I knew it would only be a matter of time before... but it's too late.'

'Too late?' Merlin's eyes searched Arthur's, trying to find the reason for his clear distress. 'Too late for what?'

Frustrated, Arthur ran his hand through his dark sandy hair.

How could a person be so oblivious?

'It has reached Ealdor, Merlin.'

There was a long silence.

Arthur kept his gaze firmly on Merlin, awaiting any and every reaction that the boy might display.

Merlin's eyes flickered across the king's face, trying to detect any evidence or sign of a sick joke that Arthur might be pulling.

When he didn't find one, his orbs darkened with sudden fear and anger.

He spun round with surprising speed and threw the last remaining items into a large shoulder pack and swung it over his shoulder.

'I assume you are leaving now.'

'Immediately.'

'Good'

'Merlin..'

'I'm coming too, Arthur. Don't even try to stop me.'

'But your foot...'

'I _said, _I'm coming.'

Arthur decided not to pursue it any further, and so followed his servant out of his chamber doors, shutting them with a sharp bang.

Minutes after, a horn sounded out in the courtyard from the already awaiting knights, signalling the beginning of the hunt.

The party rode out of the city walls, and continued east, heading beyond the white mountains and to the end of the valley that lay there.

Completely unaware of what lay waiting for them over those mountains.


	5. Chapter 5

_Screaming. _

_It pierced him right to his very soul. _

_His head was filled with it. He couldn't escape. _

_'I'm sorry, mother. I'm so sorry...'_

Merlin's eyes flew open, his body spasming and his breath coming in short, terrified pants.

He tried to calm himself while also trying to prevent waking anybody up.

After a few minutes, his breathing slowed and he began to relax again.

Wet.

He reached up to touch his cheek, where cold tears had solidified on his face, leaving it stiff and dried out. He reached up to grab the side of a tree stump, pressing his lips together in an attempt to stifle his whimpers of pain and hauled himself up onto his good leg, grabbing his crutches and stumbled over to the lake they were camping by, scooping up a handful of water and splashing it onto his face, wiping the evidence of his distress away.

Merlin sat and stared out onto the lake, watching with curiosity as the moon shimmered on it's surface.

It won't be long. He told himself. Just another day and the travelling would be over. And he could assure himself of his village's safety.

He retreated back to the camp, the cold getting the better of him, and settled back down under his thin blanket. He glanced around at all the knight's thick, warm blankets that covered their bulk completely, protecting them from the vicious night air. He scoffed.

The joy's of being a servant.

Merlin settled his head back down onto his log pillow, tried to ignore the biting wind that chilled the water that remained on his face, and fell back into sleep.

Arthur woke earlier than the rest of his party. His back ached considerable due to having must of rolled over onto a stick in the night. Damn it, Merlin. Can't even clear an area for him to sleep comfortably.

At this thought, he turned to the boy in question, planning to kick him awake so he would have someone to talk to.

He needn't of bothered.

Merlin continued to lay still, even after, frankly a rather harsh, blow to the thigh.

Arthur frowned.

He knelt down and felt his manservant's very prominent cheekbone. It was like ice.

'Merlin?'

No answer.

'Merlin!.' Another kick. This time harder and right into the sleeping boy's stomach. Nothing.

Alarmed, Arthur pulled open Merlin's eyelids, which flickered, sparked with recognition and fright, causing Merlin to jump up quicker than a startled rabbit.

Still half asleep and suddenly being made aware of his injury, the boy then fell over backwards with a yelp, and blinked at Arthur with wide eyes.

'What. On EARTH. Did you do that for?'

Arthur raised an eyebrow at Merlin's disrespectful tone. 'You weren't moving.'

'I was _asleep. _You don't tend to move when your sleeping you stupid prat.'

'You were freezing too.'

Merlin threw his hands up in exasperation. 'It's bloody WINTER. And all _I_ have to keep me warm is _this._' He held up the flimsy piece of material that was his blanket.

Arthur blinked at it, a slight appearance of guilt on his face, while Merlin glanced around at the sleeping knights. 'What did you wake me up for anyway?'

'I was bored.'

Arthur could see from his manservant's disbelieving and growingly furious face that it probably wasn't the best thing to say at the time. Before Merlin could yell at him however, he walked briskly down to the lake. 'Plus we need to refill on water for the day. Doubt we'll see any more lakes as pure as this one for a while.'

_Bloody clotpole._ Merlin sulked as he grabbed their water packs and limped down after Arthur, his foot sinking in the muddy ground. He stopped and looked down.

Weird. It didn't rain last night. Nor had it rained on their whole trip, in fact.

Merlin frowned as he pulled his boot out of the sloppy mud and continued after his master, letting the curious natural event slip from his mind.

Arthur was waiting at the side of the lake, and he held his hand out when Merlin approached. The boy handed him each sack, one after the other, before returning back to the knights, who were now all upright and gathering together supplies.

'We leave immediately.'

Merlin smiled gratefully at Arthur, who returned it warmly before throwing the rest of the supplies onto the horses.

Suddenly, a screech ripped through the trees, the sudden disturbance spooking the horses and causing them to buck and whiny, terrified.

Merlin managed to shove Gwaine out of the way of his crazed horse, preventing him from a pretty hefty blow to the head as it kicked and reared up onto it's hind legs.

'Cheers for that, Merlin.' Gwaine clamped his hand down on Merlin's shoulder, grinning at him.

Merlin grinned back, laughing shakily. 'Three guesses what that was.'

'It's still miles away.' Leon had gained control of his steed and was now sitting on it's back, trying to estimate by echo if it was getting closer. 'But I doubt we will be able to avoid meeting it before too long.'

'Then we'll have to get to Ealdor fast then.' Arthur ordered the knights back on their horses and they rode off east, cantering through the trees as quickly as possible.

Gwaine stayed behind with Merlin, helping him swing himself on his own horse and patting his shoulder with a smile, before mounting his own horse and following after them.

Merlin shivered, fears of them arriving too late flooding his mind, as he trotted after Gwaine, trying to concentrate on riding.

He shook the thoughts out of his head and pushed into a gallop with his good foot, dodging trees as they loomed up on him, and catching up with the red, billowing cloaks just ahead.

_Stay strong. I'm coming._


	6. Chapter 6

The skies had cleared overhead and the sun shone down onto the backs of the knights of Camelot.  
>Merlin was at the front of the group, trotting a few metres ahead, searching down in the valley below for any premature signs of destruction. Arthur kept behind him, letting him lead, though he knew the way perfectly well.<br>The boy suddenly broke into a gallop down the side of the slope that led down into the valley.

'Merlin!' Arthur shot after his manservant who was pelting down towards a small village at the base of the valley. 'Wait!'

Wisps of smoke rose from the small settlement, though there was more than should have been considering it's size.  
>They were too late.<p>

Ealdor was silent. Only the sounds of occasional cracking from the flames that surrounded the perimeter, obvious protection against whatever had threatened the village, could be heard over the deafening silence.

The knights rode down into the centre of the town, jumping off their horses and began searching the entire area.  
>Arthur jumped off his steed and glanced around.<br>'Merlin?'  
>He went straight to Merlin's mother's hut, having already stayed there the previous year, and stopped for a moment before knocking on the door. 'Merlin?'<p>

There was a quiet scuttling on the other side of the door and some muffled noises that sounded like sniffs.  
>Arthur exhaled and opened the door. 'Merlin?'<p>

'We're too late.'  
>Arthur swallowed down the bile in his throat and opened the door.<p>

The small house looked like a bull had been let loose inside. Everything was overturned or broken. The fire had long been extinguished, and Arthur could see his breath floating out in front of him. It hung in the air for longer than was normal, before gradually breaking up and dissolving. Strange.

He disregarded it and looked over at Merlin, who was standing in the centre of the room,, leaning on just one crutch with his gaze fixed on the fire roaring outside. His eyes were glazed over with a dark, hard look that took Arthur by surprise.  
>'..Merlin?'<p>

'What do we do, Arthur?'

Arthur blinked at him. Then lowered his head. 'There's nothing we can do Merlin. I'm so sorry.'

Merlin nodded. Just a single dip of his head but it did not go unnoticed. His glaze averted back to the man before him, eyes boring into Arthur's as the King stared at him, guilt clearly visible on his face.  
>Merlin just looks at him, his face like stone. Expressionless.<p>

'Then what kind of a King are you?'

This manservant's words wash over him, and suddenly he feels like he's going to be sick. The look in Merlin's eyes is like ice, full of blame and hatred.  
>Before all this, for the young King to look like that would have broken Merlin's heart. But now, as he looked upon his master with complete disgust and disappointment, the boy felt nothing, and had no problem in walking straight out the door, shutting it behind him with a loud crash. Leaving Arthur to watch his once loyal servant disappear outside.<p>

It hit him hard.  
>After all this time. After all they'd been through. His servant was always there, protecting him, giving him hope, never giving up on him no matter how bad things got. No matter how many mistakes the King made, he was never alone. Even when no one was there, there was always his manservant. His friend. But now...<p>

Now it had finally happened. He also always assumed that it would, yet never took into account when it would happen.

Merlin had finally given up on him.

He didn't realise how lucky he was to have Merlin on his side, fighting beside him. Didn't understand how devastating losing such an asset would be for the entire kingdom.

He didn't understand that if Merlin had lost faith in him, that made the entire situation more dangerous.

In such a vulnerable state, one's mind can be twisted into making rash decisions. Decisions which would mean the inevitable destruction of the entire kingdom of Camelot.

A feat that a small young warlock was perfectly capable of performing. If his faith in it's King was ever shattered.

Which it sure was now.


	7. Chapter 7

Merlin sat with his back against a large willow tree, three miles out of Ealdor.  
>When he had left, the knights questioned where he was going, but mostly backed off when they saw his face. Gwaine, however, persisted, and had followed him quite a way before Merlin lost it with him and he returned back to the others.<p>

Merlin had walked in no particular direction, just trying to put as much distance as he could between him and his destroyed home. He was completely consumed with grief and loss, but tears refused to come, no matter how much he yearned for the release.

Eventually, the pain in his foot returned as Gaius' potion wore off and he found he could go no further, and collapsed in front of the tree he was now leaning against. He didn't know how long he had sat there for, but he was surprised to see the sun suddenly disappear behind the tree line.

He stared at the darkening sky, as it turned from pink to blue, blue to black. And then he counted each and every star as it appeared in the ibis. He started to think about what Gaius had told him about constellations and how each one was special in some way. He even said once that there was a constellation that represented magic, good and evil, and how significant it was within this world. It showed the balance between good and bad magic, and how neither could exist without the other.  
>They were opposites that constantly fought against one another, keeping the balance of the world equal.<p>

Merlin had always hoped to bring Arthur out here and show him the stars. Show him how important each and every one of us are and prove to him, finally, that magic was not always evil.  
>He had debated over and over in his head whether this would be the best time to reveal his secret to the King, or whether it was best to allow the new information to sink in, and Arthur had time to consider it.<p>

Now he would never have to be faced with that dilemma.

He blamed Arthur entirely for what happened to his home, what had happened to his mother. As unfair as it may be, he was not yet ready to except any other logical conclusion.

His world had been sent into chaos and he desperately needed someone to blame. Anyone.  
>It was just bad luck that his grief may result in the destruction of Camelot.<p>

Merlin was fighting an internal battle between loyalty and emotion.  
>They were both the two strongest and important parts of who he was, and the pain of having them repel each other like the wrong end of two magnets was close to agony.<p>

He felt torn and confused, as he stared at the night sky from the forest floor, praying that it was going to be alright in the end. He begged the stars.  
><em>What do I do?<em>

Suddenly, a tiny crack of a branch brought the warlock back down to Earth. He stiffened, but remained where he was. He soon relaxed again as he recognised the unmistakeable sounds of deer scampering through the woods. He held his breath, trying to be as silent as possible.

Whatever Arthur might say, Merlin had discovered a natural talent for being as quite as death when he wanted to be. He would often go out into the forest and sit by a tree, watching the animals pass through, collecting debris for their homes, coming up from underground to get food for their offspring, drinking from the lake. He observed these silent interaction for hours, not once being noticed. It was like he could turn himself completely invisible.

So he had no worry at all of startling the two deer as they entered his peripheral vision and walked side by side into the clearing before him.

One of the creatures was larger than the other with a flawless beige coat, speckled with dainty white spots covering her body. Her face was still, her ears relaxed. She portrayed the neutral expression that all woodland animals did, though Merlin recognised the glint of fierce protection in her eyes. She was a mother.

Clearly the mother of the smaller deer, whom was much scruffier in appearance. His coat was splattered with mud and his hooves were stained and dirty. He held himself in a completely different way to his mother, as she stood tall, her senses on high alert, whereas he seemed to take a more laid back approach to his surroundings, stumbling into ditches and occasionally being distracted by the smallest of things.

They stopped in front of Merlin and the mother reached her head down to her child and touched his nose with hers. It was such a simple displace of affection, yet it made Merlin want to weep. It was all too familiar, the interation between mother and son, and it hurt so much for him to know he would never experience that contact again.

A tear rolled down Merlin's cheek and his face crumpled and he finally broke. His sobs scared off the two animals in a flash and the forest silently scuttled away from the crying boy.  
>Merlin didn't even notice, and just poured his heart out, his cries echoing off the tightly compact trees, keeping the sound confined within the area in which he sat.<p>

Pain seemed to rot in his stomach like a plague, making his throat compress and he struggled to breath, but it wouldn't stop. Wave after wave of utter despair washed over him every second, hitting him with full force and he couldn't escape it, no matter how hard he tried.

So Merlin sat in the middle of nowhere, miles from either one of his homes, unable to move due to the pain of his completely shattered ankle that now refused to be ignored, his throat burning and his heart broken, as his world fell apart all around him.

-

'Arthur..'

The king ignored him, and continued riding through the thick forest, scanning his surroundings for... anything. Signs. A track to follow. A flash of blue and red. _Anything _that might help him understand if his manservant was okay.

'Arthur, it's almost dark. We need to get back to Camelot, Sire.'

Arthur laughed once without even a hint of humour and turned to face the five knights who were riding behind him, each one wearing the same expression of sadness and slight pity. Arthur detested the sight, but he disregarded it for once and looked Elyan directly in the eyes. After a second, he spoke;

'Camelot. Would be nothing. It would be mere ash and smouldering fire. Or it would be ruled over by an unjust and evil government that would be destroying everything that city ever stood for. Camelot would, and will be nothing, without the stupid, clumsy, completely insane boy that I have the _honour _to call my manservant. He has saved us all, Camelot and all it's people, including all present here, more times that I could count and he still remains content to spend his days picking up my dirty socks and making my bed. He's never asked me for anything. Ever. Not once. And so I never gave him anything. That changes now. We will find him. I will _not _abandon him. And we will bring Merlin back to his home where he _belongs. _Is that understood?'

Gwaine's mouth curved upwards at his King and he bowed his head. Lancelot nodded fiercely in agreement. Leon and Percivial shared a mutually determined grin, and Elyan looked at Arthur in quiet awe.  
>Arthur turned his horse around again, and they continued through the thicket, eventually picking up on a trail and flying full speed in pursuit of the young boy in blue and red.<p>

_I'm coming, Merlin. We will find you and bring you home, whether you bloody want us to or not._


	8. Chapter 8

The cold burned him through this clothes, ripping him from sleep and slamming him into reality.

Instinctively he produced flames from his hands and pressed them against his numb body. _Okay this is ridiculous. I'm finding somewhere that is not a god-for-saken forest._

He tries to stand but cries out as pain floods his foot. _Damn it_. Merlin grabs his crutch and hauls himself up, his ankle screaming in protest but his uses all his willpower to try and ignore it.

A first glance, his surroundings seem completely alien. Nothing at all that would hint to his whereabouts in the Kingdom. If he even was in Camelot any more. That though sent a wave of worry through him. He'd be in for it if he was found across the border.  
>Merlin sent a yellow light into the sky, which illuminated the area enough for him to breathe a sigh of relief.<p>

The familiar land was stretched out beyond the trees, rolling hills and mountains that seemed to go on forever. He turned and his breath caught slightly. He could see the castle from where he stood, though it was right on the horizon, barely visible but yet extremely prominent.  
>Merlin sighed and swept a hand across his face to rid it of the tears that fell far too often when thinking about Camelot. <em>My home. It'll always be my home. And now, it's all I've got left.<em>

But no matter how much he yearned to return, return to his chambers, to Gaius, to Arthur, he could not banish from his heart the pain and fury he still felt towards the King. Time had allowed him to think more fairly about the situation, and he knew deep down that it wasn't really Arthur's fault.

But Merlin had always been an emotional person, and his grief blinded him from any other sense of logic. It was frustrating, knowing he was being irrational but yet unable to allow himself to let it go. _You've got to understand, Merlin. You've got to forgive him._

The warlock shook his head violently, clinging to each and every positive emotion he had left towards Arthur. _You cannot let this destroy your destiny._

Merlin suddenly saw red, anger consuming his mind. DESTINY. Like he didn't have any choice in his life. He just had to form to his destiny. The only reason he had to put up with all this was because of this ridiculous _destiny._

_No. You know that is not true. You KNOW that is not the reason you stay_. Why does he stay? _You believe in Arthur. You stand by him because you know what he will become. You stay with him because you are fully aware the prat can't do it on his own._

Merlin's eyes snap open. _You stay because you can't bare to leave. _The tears are free to fall again. _You stay because he is so much more than your master. He is your friend. You stay because you swore to him you'd never leave his side. That you will always be there. Protecting him._

Merlin stiffened as he heard the sound of hooves in the distance, coming closer with every passing second. 'Time to move.' he muttered, and hurried to get himself out of vision of the approaching party. Patrol no doubt.

He reached the edge of the trees and broke into a jog, his broken ankle throbbing with every stride. He knew he was only making his injury worse by his actions but he needed to get back. His epiphany had left him desperate and shameful. He wanted to return to Arthur as soon as possible. He had to know that Merlin still believed in him, despite what he had said.

The boy cringed with harsh guilt as he remembered his exact words. '_Then what kind of a King are you?'_

'I'm sorry, Arthur.'

He quicken his pace. Soon he was running fell pelt towards the castle on the horizon, not caring about his foot, not caring about being caught, just knowing that he had to get back, and get back fast.

-

'He was here.'  
>'How can you know that?'<br>Arthur snorted and held up a burned piece of wood. 'Only Merlin could make a fire this badly. There's hardly any wood at all! He'd have to be bloody magic to get any flames from this.'

Obviously being completely unaware of the irony of his words, the King swung himself back on his horse, scanning the floor for Merlin's trail. He frowned slightly. 'His covered his tracks.' His frown turned to a slight grimace. Then, slowly into a passive expression and he processed his thoughts. 'He doesn't want to be found.'

Gwaine looked up at Arthur, slightly alarmed by his words. 'It doesn't matter. We'll find him.'  
>'What if he meant what he said?'<br>'Arthur..'  
>'Maybe... maybe he doesn't...'<br>'_Arthur.'_  
>Arthur blinked and looked over at Gwaine, who was facing him with a fixed face of determination. 'Stop. I know Merlin. He did not mean what he said. He was upset. His whole bloody family was killed. Do not think for one second that he has stopped believing in you.'<p>

Arthur knew his manservant well. There was never a moment where he ever doubted Merlin's loyalty. Not ever. The boy had always been exactly where he had promised to be, if perhaps a little late. Always kept every promise. Every secret. Every lie. Day after day. Fight after fight. Problem after problem. He knew that.

'I know.' Arthur rounded his horse on the spot, causing it to neigh in protest. 'And I've found his trail.'

He pushed the animal into a gallop, but it suddenly reared up as a shrill shriek echoed throughout the entire forest. The knights withdraw their swords and scanned their surroundings.  
>The creature was a lot closer than before, and now apparently it had entered Camelot. 'Keep on your guard!' Arthur yelled. 'If you see any sign of the beast, do not hesitate. Kill it, before it does any more harm.'<p>

This was met by a chorus of, 'Yes, Sire!' and they left the clearing, following Merlin's tracks, frantic eyes darting about in all directions and swords clutched tightly in glove covered fists.

They quickened their pace as another piercing cry shook the forest, nearer ever closer, and sending an icy chill down the spines of the bravest knights in Camelot.


	9. Chapter 9 i

'Hello, Merlin.'  
>His eyes widened and he only just managed to send a wave of subtle magic over himself before Morgana threw him to the side, his head colliding with a tree and the world went black.<p>

-

Morgana circled the warlock slowly, considering his face with interest. 'Why?' she asked to no one. 'Why are you so special, hmm? Why is Arthur so _fond _of you? You are a servant. Nothing more.'

The witch had been watching the boy and his King since they left Camelot days ago, and so she knew about his desertion. And she could, and would use it to her advantage.

She stopped and crossed her arms. A familiar sadistic smirk appeared slowly on her face, and she knelt down to where he lay. 'You were on your way back to him weren't you? Your sickeningly forgiving nature obviously got the better of you. I'll have to fix that.'

Morgana closed her eyes and they rolled back into her skull as she searched her ever expanding mind for the correct spell. Morgause had taught her well, but there were some things that she had had to learn for herself, this being one of them.

When she re-opened her eyes they were burning gold and brimming with power. She looked down at Merlin with a predatory expression on her delicate features.

'Arthur does not care about you. He allowed your entire home to be destroyed. He stood by and watched, all the while knowing what would happen. He knew about the beast a long time before he decided to tell you about it. He is the reason your mother is dead. It is his fault. Arthur killed your mother. Everything that has happened to you is because of his actions. Your life is meaningless because he makes it so. Arthur Pendragon is the reason for your pain and suffering and he. Must. Pay.'

Magic burst from her now outstretched hand and consumed Merlin's unconscious form. It trickled round the edges of his skin for a moment, as if repelled, but then sank down beneath the surface.

-

He awoke with the worst headache known to man. He groaned loudly and rubbed his hair in a vain attempt to sooth the persistent throbbing.

Wisps of memory probed his mind but he ignored them. It was far too early to be thinking about anything. He hauled himself to his feet and walked forward a few steps before stopping.

Something was wrong. He looked down. All his weight was rested on his left foot. And for some reason, something about that was odd. Then it suddenly came to him, slamming into his brain with force. That foot was broken. Shattered towards an inch of it's life. It had been complete agony for the best part of 10 days. But, he was leaning on it?

He dismissed it after a while, the confusion making his head hurt even more. Memories and other thoughts continued to push against his sub conscious, stubbornly wanting to be acknowledged, but he ignored them still, more so out of frustration than any kind of logic.

He picked his pack up and started walking again, continuing onto the castle to kill Arthur.

_Wait._

He stopped short. A sudden blast of sense coursed through his body and mind, and he remembered.

_Morgana.  
>Spell.<br>Arthur._

His head exploded with pain as the magic the witch had cast upon him fought viciously against his conscience. Merlin focused all his energy and pushed the spell aside into another part of his brain. He struggled to keep it there, but at least now his head was able to think straight, and allowed him to think clearly about his situation.

Now Merlin might be powerful, but he was still human. He was not able to rid his mind of such a strong magically disease such as that without some sort of assistance.

That was why he thanked his lucky stars that he had had the sense to immunise himself against mind-controlling spells before he was knocked out.

After previous experiences had with Morgana it took minimal deduction to have a good idea what she had planned for him, and he would have been a fool not to have learnt how to defend himself.

He stood for a moment, fear bubbling in his stomach like acid, as he realised how much danger he would be putting Arthur in if he returned now.

He was able to keep the magic at bay for now, but how long before it got too much? He couldn't control it forever, and it would be just his luck if his time ran out just as he reached Camelot...  
>But he had to. He had to go back.<p>

And not only for himself.

He had heard the sound many times over the last few days, and knew that it was getting closer and closer to Camelot. It's shriek split his head in two and rang in his ears long after the noise ceased, and it sent a chill down his spine which was only partly to do with the cold.

He had heard of a creature such as this. A long time ago.

It was a Caecure.

And it was not a beast, nor any creature of this world.  
>Gaius had told him that Caecures were called into the world through cracks in the fabric of reality. Imperfections in the structure of our world. This type of event was so rare, so unheard of, that Merlin was still unsure if it were actually true.<p>

There was no denying it now.

His mind flicked back to random, out-of-place details that he had just barely noticed in recent days. It made more sense now. The muddy ground with no rain. Breath suspended in air for just that bit longer than was normal. Small things. Stupid things.

But things that meant that Merlin couldn't deny what had occurred, and it left fear in his heart as he knew he had to stop it. Before it got to Arthur. Before it was too late.

Merlin knew what he had to do. He was just in no way happy with the fact he had to do it.  
><em>I'll keep it under control. I won't let myself hurt him. Save him. Don't get caught. Like always.<em>

He hurried through the last stretch of the woods, the castle in the clear foreground before him. He swallowed the sadness in his throat and blinked away his tears.

_You cannot stay, but you can save him one last time._

-

The knights had long since returned to Camelot.  
>Arthur had not.<p>

He searched for days. Endless days.  
>When he finally returned to his castle, his heart was heavier than it had ever been. He had failed. He had not found Merlin. That was his task and he had failed.<p>

Not just himself, that didn't matter. He had failed Merlin and that hurt far worse than any kind of shame he felt towards to his own competence.

He reached the castle walls and dismounted, then stood and swept his gaze over the kingdom. His kingdom. The kingdom that had been past down to him from his father and now was entirely in his control. It was magnificent. Far more so than any other realms across the country.

Camelot was the most powerful and the most respected kingdom that ever was, and it belonged to Arthur.

But all that the young King could think whilst looking out upon his home, was that he did not deserve it. Any of it.

He ran his hand through his sandy blond hair roughly, then brought his hand over his face, rubbing the space between his eyes in small circles. _For God's sake, come home, Merlin._

Suddenly, his horse reared up, whinnying in terror. The King's hands flew down to his sword belt, but before his could draw it he was shoved aside by the animal ploughing past him, fleeing towards the safety of inside the castle walls.

Dazed, Arthur could only lift his head up, straining to see what had spooked his horse. His eyes widened and he scrambled to his feet, withdrawing his sword in one quick movement and holding it in a fighting stance.

The beast drew closer, stalking him, watching him. A growl rippled from it and the edges of it's mouth retracted, revealing impossibly large teeth. It's entire body was black, the only exception being the startlingly white scar that was swept across it's face.

It was so deep, that the beast's eye was further back into it's socket than the other, and flickered wildly across the King's face.

Arthur held fast, angling his sword more threateningly. His hands were steady on the hilt and his eyes stayed fixed on the creature, preparing for any move it might initiate to advance on him.

Behind him, he heard the warning bell ringing loudly, and within seconds, the Knights were by his side.

The beast suddenly lunged for them, snapping it's huge jaw inches from where they stood. Arthur took his chance and swung his sword down upon it's shoulder, but the metal that should have made contact with it's flesh, bounced off immediately and threw him slightly off balance. 'Protect the villages!' Arthur yelled at his knights.

Percival, Leon and Eylan circled round the back of the King and blocked off the path to the village, swords still up, pointing directly at the creature.

Arthur swung again, this time along with both Lancelot and Gwaine. All their blades struck the beast at different areas of it's body, but once again they all were flung back like they were mere rag dolls.

The great creature roared in defiance and charged directly for Arthur, who had been knocked clean of his feet and his sword lay metres away.

His scrambled to his feet but the beast was far too fast. It slammed into him, sending him flying back on the ground, and he cried out as he felt a sharp pain in his leg. He couldn't move. The beast raced towards him again, this time with more deadly intentions.

Arthur stared, terrified, at his oncoming obliteration, his heart pounding inside his chest. He shut his eyes.

'NO, ARTHUR!'

They flew open again in disbelief. He knew that voice. _Bloody hell, did he know that voice._


	10. Chapter 9 ii

Merlin leaped in front of the king and, without thinking, threw a powerful blast of magic towards the beast. It shot towards it at an incredible speed and it hit it square in the chest.

The animal reared up and screamed as it burned a huge hole where it made contact. It suddenly struck out again, this time towards the circle of knights who were barricaded in front of the terrified villagers.

Merlin roared another spell and threw himself between the monster and his friends. The magic slammed into the creature from the side and it let out another cry of agony.

Merlin kept his furious gaze fixed upon the creature, paying no attention to his shocked spectators. It didn't occur to him a t that point that maybe he should have been.

Arthur watched, completely paralysed as his manservant fought this terrifying beast all on his own. Granted he seemed to be doing pretty well, but it still didn't stop Arthur wanting to run and help him. Merlin was so... feeble next to such a creature, and fear gripped him as the thought that he might be taken away from him again grew inside his mind.

Information processed itself in slow motion, only allowing pure instinct through to the man's sub-conscience. Eventually however, his brain caught up with his eyes and he suddenly registered what was happening. Magic. Merlin was using magic. To save him. Merlin came back. Merlin hadn't left him.

His mind worked furiously, trying to make sense of it all. Merlin had magic. And he was using it to protect himself and the knights. To protect the kingdom. But... magic was evil. And Merlin... Merlin was good. He was using magic for good.

It hit him suddenly, the glaringly obvious. What he, deep down, had known all along. It made so much sense and yet made no sense at all.

His thought process stretched out for so long that he missed minor details about the fight before him. Details that, if he had not missed them, would have allowed him to warn his manservant in time. Instead he yelled seconds too late as the beast torn Merlin's arm with it's huge claw, ripping out a sickeningly large amount of flesh.

Merlin cried out but he did not fall. With the last of his energy, he sent the creature flying across the battlefield and slammed it against the castle wall. It spasmed for a moment, and then lay still.

There was a moment of quiet, broken only by the muffled sobs of the villagers. The knights consoled them softly, but the children were still terrified.  
>One was crying hysterically into Percival's shoulder whilst others just stood, shaking violently, pointing at Merlin, faces full of horror.<p>

Arthur had snapped out of his frozen state and was now just staring at where the beast lay dead, and then up at Merlin. And back again, as if completely amazed as to how it got there. Merlin stood, breathing heavily, trembling slightly.

He now dawned on him what he had just done, and his breath caught in his throat. He waited silently for what Arthur would have to say. What he would do. He dare not make a sound.

A million and one thoughts were circling frantically around the King's head, most of which were incoherent. He tried to make sense of them. File them back to their correct places in his mind. As he sorted through each one, he noticed something strange.

Not one of them thought badly towards Merlin. Most were working out how to deal with it, work around it. Others were wondering how to help Merlin continue to keep his secret. And a few were even fully willing to change their entire view on magic, and believe that it was not evil and that Merlin was living proof of that.

This baffled Arthur in a way he had never been before. It didn't make sense, he should be FURIOUS.

Either way, Arthur knew that none of his being wanted to punish Merlin for what he had done, nor did he truly believe that he deserved it. It was almost like it made more sense to change his entire opinion on magic, an opinion that he had been brought up to believe was the right one, than it did to think for one second that Merlin was a traitor.

This revelation disturbed him somewhat, and he was shocked that this was what his automatic reaction was. He hadn't realised how much he depended on the idiot boy. How much faith and trust he had in Merlin. Far too much.

When had that happened? Since when was Merlin the one and only person that he completely, 100% relied on, trusted. The worst servant in the entire world, who he wouldn't trust with his dirty socks, he would trust with his life. His soul. Anything. Without a shadow of a doubt.

His best friend. Of course he bloody trusted him. More than anything.

Arthur had been silent for a long while, and in this time Merlin's terror had intensified. The fear made his concentration unstable, and he felt Morgana's spell creeping back over his conscious again.

He snapped back to attention instantly, but it was too late. He shot his gaze over to Lancelot, who came over immediately.

'Morgana-' Merlin began to say before he cried out in pain. The dark magic punished him for his own free will. 'Help. I'll- I'll kill Arthur- argh!' his legs gave way underneath him and he fell onto the hard ground, landing on his knees, his hands digging into the earth underneath him, tearing up pieces of dirt and grass.

His closed eyes burned viciously, sending shots of panic through his body.

He could hear a voice calling him from far away, but it was fainter than a whisper. He screamed out one last time before collapsing under his own tiny weight and all that Merlin was was lost deep within him, freeing the spell to spread like a virus and consume his brain. He blacked out.

-

_Anger. Despair. White hot fury that burned with the intensity of the sun._

_Power rose up inside him, consuming him. It radiated from his fingertips, willing to be unleashed upon the world.  
>He knew he could finish it. He knew he could destroy it so easily. Just by muttering a few words, it's existence would be blasted from the face of the earth. So easy.<em>

'Merlin.'

_He felt a hand rest upon his shoulder, stilling the violent shaking that emitted from him.  
>The voice was faint. As if far away.<br>Trying to prevent him from doing something terrible._

_He couldn't control it. The energy burned inside of him.  
>His eyes were bathed in a murderous gold. Shimmering as his magic built up behind them.<em>

_So easy._

_He tried to fight it.  
>'I can't. I can't do this..'<br>Emotion roared like wind in his ears, threatening to burst from his very soul._

'Merlin.'  
><em>The voice was slightly clearer, pressing into his personal subconscious, as it was the only part of him that remained truly his.<em>

_The rest of him was lost. Lost to grief and pain. Lost to a thirst for revenge. Regardless of what that revenge would mean for the whole of the world. His world. His destiny._

_He battled desperately against his urge to succumb to it, screaming internally as it tore him to pieces._

'Merlin, please. Come back.'

_His eyes widened in realisation of what he was doing. But he couldn't stop himself. The power swelling inside him was too strong._

_'I can't...I can't do it.'_  
>'You can, Merlin. You can'<br>_'I can't...'_

_Another wave of emotion rode through his being, but this time it was tainted with something different. Something that gave the young warlock a shimmer of hope._

_He felt pressure on his other shoulder. His eyes stared without seeing._

'Merlin. You can do this.'  
><em>Another wave. This time it flooded his mind, washing away the harsh, angry feelings that controlled him so forcefully.<br>His vision cleared slightly. Enough to vaguely make out the outline of the knight's face._

_Hope.  
>The emotion suddenly exploded within him, replacing all traces of fiery turmoil that burned him from the inside.<br>The fire shrank back into his soul, slowly relieving him of the danger he was to himself, but leaving behind shear agony that radiated around his entire self._

_He collapsed, expecting the hard contact of the soggy ground, but instead was caught by strong arms.  
><em>_  
>'I'm sorry, Arthur.'<br>His eyes shone with hot tears that rolled slowly down his pale face and dripped onto his blue tunic. His black hair was slick with sweat, and his breathing came out in terrified pants  
>'I'm so sorry...'<em>


	11. Chapter 10

The castle was silent. Not a thing stirred in the darkness. If one were to walk through the corridors, they would hear nothing but the muffled sounds of gentle snores. Even the crows in the courtyard flew without a sound. It was eerie and melancholy.

It was peaceful. Each individual room contained sleeping bodies, dreaming thousands of fantastic dreams, unique to the person who dreamt them.

With the exception of a small room at the back of the castle, tucked away unnoticed and seemingly unimportant. In those chambers, the king was not dreaming. He was not sleeping. And he would not sleep. Not until his manservant opened his eyes.

It had been three days since it had happened. Three days since Merlin nearly destroyed the whole of Camelot. His power so strong, strong enough to create devastation across the entire kingdom. Three days since he had been ripped apart trying to fight it. Three days since he fell, and hadn't gotten up.

The king had not left Merlin's side since then and he was not planning to until the boy woke up. All this time he sat in the tiny room at the back of Gaius' chambers, eyes fixated on his hands, his brain swirling with new information he had yet to process. By the end of the first day, he had decided that he would come to no conclusion on magic, positive or... otherwise, until he talked to his manservant face to face.

It was only fair that the boy was given the chance to explain himself. Arthur knew that if he jumped to any false accusations, he might risk losing Merlin forever. And he knew from experience that he could not let that happen.

The dark sky smothered the kingdom, and the moon was hidden away behind a cloud. Every so often it would emerge and shine through the tiny window and light up the room were the two men lay. The pale skin of the younger would shine whiter still, and make him look so alive. But then it would be gone and his still mask would return once more.

Eventually the sun would rise, bringing with it noise and laughter from the towns below. But it also brought disturbance from various servants, Gaius, the knights. All through the day Arthur would sit in by Merlin's bedside, interacting with each guest, allow them to tend to the boy and pay their condolences. To each one he would thank and nod in appreciation. They would leave. More would come, and so on throughout the entire day.

'Bloody popular, aren't you?'

Arthur would spend their time alone talking, mocking his servant, making bad jokes about his incompetence. But then the night would fall again and his topics would lose their harsh tone. His lack of sleep would catch up with him and his front would falter. His jokes turned to apologies, his mocks into begs. _Open your eyes. Wake up. Stop it. Answer me. I'm sorry. I really am. I'm so sorry, Merlin._

His head would fall and rest on the bed. His face would bury itself in his arm. And just before he fell asleep, his hand would find Merlin's and hang on like a lifeline, keeping him safe until he awoke and had to do this all over again.

* * *

><p>There was a loud ringing in his ears, blocking out all coherent thought and feeling. It rung so loud he pressed his hands against his ears in an attempt to block out the noise. But to no avail. He quickly realised it made no difference at all.<p>

Mostly because he hadn't even moved. He couldn't move.

His eyelids felt like they were made of lead and no matter how much he tried, he could not lift them even an inch.

His mouth felt like straw and his whole body ached.

Having no idea where he was or how he got there, slight panic started to rise within him.

_What happened? Why couldn't he move? Where was Gaius? Where was Arthur? _

It slowly started to dawn on him what he had forgotten, and suddenly he jumped up with the same reflex as would occur if one fell out of bed.

He blinked a couple of times before the rest of the room came into focus.

Merlin stared at his wall, trying to remember exactly what had happened. He was so distracted that he barely noticed when Arthur awoke beside him. The King rubbed his eyes and stared at the empty bed for a moment in confusion, before glancing up to see the young boy sat bolt upright, staring at the wall and panting heavily.

'Merlin!' Arthur jumped up and put his hand on his manservant's shoulder.

Merlin, having not fully registered Arthur's presence, jumped so violently that he slipped off the bed and landed with a hard thud on the cold floor.

Arthur suppressed a laugh and went to pull him up again. He lifted him to his feet and placed him back down onto the bed. Merlin seemed to have come to his senses suddenly and grabbed the King's tunic.

'Hey! What are you-'

'Arthur I'm sorry. I'm sorry and I know what I did was unforgivable and I swear that-'

'Merlin for goodness sake, calm down.'

Arthur prised off the surprisingly strong grip Merlin had on his tunic and put his hands on each of the boy's shoulders. 'You have nothing to be sorry for.'

Merlin slumped down as if in relief, but looked confused. Arthur tried to sigh in impatience, but it failed and he just ended up grinning. 'You took your time by the way. I'm glad your finally awake.'

Merlin smiled sheepishly at the King and there was a moment of silence. Arthur coughed slightly awkwardly and retreated from the room to get Gaius.

Merlin stared after him for a second, then grabbed his boots and shoved them on. He ran after Arthur, not caring that he was topless and probably still concussed.

He caught up with the king outside his chambers. 'Arthur!'

'Merlin what are you doing? Go back to bed you idiot you'll get-'

'You have to understand, Arthur.' Merlin pleaded breathlessly. 'I didn't do it to hurt you. I am not what I am because I want to destroy Camelot or ruin the lives of it's people-'

'Merlin.'

Arthur put his hands up and waved them down, gesturing for the boy to calm down.

'I will let you explain later. I don't think that at all. I know you. You couldn't possibly have been able to handle the pressure of all that scheming. Your head would have exploded.'

Merlin blinked at him and then laughed in nervous disbelief. His relief seemed to thaw his skin and he shivered as a shot of cold ran up with spine and he was suddenly aware of his indecency. He yelped and wrapped his arms around himself, glancing around worriedly.

Arthur laughed and beckoned Merlin into his chambers. Once inside, the King grabbed a faded shirt from his wardrobe and threw it at his manservant, who dropped it, then hurriedly pulled it on. It swamped him, the sleeves hanging off him like he was wearing a tent. Arthur frowned before grabbing him by the arm and pushing him down at his desk.

Collecting three days worth of uneaten food from his bedside, he crossed the room in two strides and placed it all in front of Merlin. 'Eat. All of it. Now.'

Merlin's stomach growled incredibly loudly and he was suddenly made aware of the fact that he hadn't had an actual meal in over a week. The boy grabbed at the food and ate like a starving man, which he supposed he was.

Arthur poured him some water so he wouldn't choke on the dry bread. Merlin immediately downed it and resumed eating ('inhaling might be a better word for it' Arthur mused) every single thing on each of the three plates.

Once he was done, he sat back in Arthur's seat, exhausted, and shut his eyes. Opening his mouth, he let out an impressive belch, then burst into loud laughter. Arthur stared at him, mildly alarmed at the boy's sudden outburst of slightly hysteric giggling, but let it go. _At least he's back to normal again._

He smirked at his manservant, ruffling his hair briefly. He then stood him up and directed him towards the door. 'Go away. Back to bed. I'll get Gaius to check on you later.'

'Mmm.'

Merlin leant against Arthur with his head on the man's shoulder, practically falling asleep already. He murmured something into Arthur's shirt.

'What did you say?'

Merlin forced his head to stand up on it's own and let Arthur go. 'Thankyou. For watching over me I mean.'

'It's fine. Just go get some sleep. Though I don't understand why you need it. You've been in bed for three days.'

'Yeah, well being unconscious is probably the least relaxing type of sleep there is.' Merlin grinning at his master before stumbling down the corridor towards Gaius' chambers.

Arthur raised an eyebrow at the back of Merlin's head and then retreated back into his own room, shaking his head and smirking as he closed the door behind him.


	12. Chapter 11

'Just start from the beginning.'

Arthur sat down at the chair in front of his desk, twisting his body so his arms rested on the wooden back. Merlin stood in front of him, his hands hidden behind his skinny frame, eyes staring just above the King's head. It was a stance that all servants fell back on when they simply didn't know how to be with themselves. It was well practised and fairly safe from confrontation.

Arthur, however, knew _his _servant far too well for that to ever work, and with a sudden move, he had Merlin pinned down on a chair to his left, the boy looking slightly bewildered but still anxious. Returning to his original position, the King kept his gaze on the warlock, and raised an eyebrow. A signal for him to start talking_. Now._

Merlin swallowed nervously, his neckerchief shifting and he let out a breath. 'Before I do,' he began, 'there is something that you need to know.'

'More? Bloody hell Merlin, I never knew you were so secretive.' Merlin ignored the jibe and instead fixed Arthur with a stare. Arthur's smirk faltered slightly. It unnerved him slightly to see a Merlin so serious.

'Arthur,' Merlin's eyes flickered in clear hesitation but he brought them back and kept them in line with the King's determinedly. 'Everything, and I mean _everything _my magic and I have ever done since I came to Camelot all those years ago, has been for the well-being and the protection of you and the kingdom. I have never done, and will never do anything to bring harm upon this land, nor will I stand by and let others bring harm. My magic may be despised and I hated for it, but it is a part of me of which I am not ashamed. It is a gift, not a curse. It represents who I am and, since I arrived, where my loyalties lie. And they are with you, Arthur. They have only ever been with you and that will never change.'

Arthur blinked in mild shock. He was touched. He opened his mouth to speak but Merlin shook his head rapidly. 'If I don't say this now I never will. I've tried to for so long but couldn't. So I need to do so now. Arthur, my life and my destiny lie with you, with this kingdom. My place is by your side, and I shall not leave it, no matter what your decision. If I have to, I'll stand by you from afar. but I shall never really leave. Never will I allow you to be alone. So whatever you decide, I'm sorry, but you shall never truly get rid of me. I have always been there when you needed me, and I don't plan for that to ever change.'

Merlin fell silent and let out a shallow breath, leaning away slightly. He knew the weight of his speech, but he also knew that Arthur needed to hear it. He needed to know Merlin's intentions, since they concerned the young King so intimately.

The silence stretched out for a few more seconds and Merlin began to blush violently as he watched his words take affect in Arthur's expression, and he felt slightly sick with embarrassment. He tried to decipher Arthur's thoughts but the emotions in the man's eyes alternated so rapidly that he could not keep up. Shock, guilt, sadness, honour, confusion, uncertainty, determination, more shock.

'So.. yeah.' Merlin coughed. 'You still want to know everything?'

Arthur's head was swimming. Of course he had already known most of this. He never once doubted for a second that it would take more than banishment to keep Merlin away. But hearing his manservant swear his allegiance and loyalty to the King so sincerely, made Arthur's heart swell and pound with affection and gratitude. What the boy had said was true. Whenever Arthur had needed him, whether the King had known it or not, Merlin had never been far away.

Merlin spent hours re-telling his entire life to Arthur, this time allowing no secrets. He told him of when he first discovered he had magic, and how his mother had protected him from anyone who wished him harm because of it. He told him of how Will had been his one friend who accepted him, and how they had stood by one another from birth, to the day Merlin had left for Camelot. Arthur didn't say anything while he talked, but felt uncomfortable grief on his friend's behalf, as he came to realise that Merlin had lost so much more than his best friend that day.

The boy told Arthur about Freya. About how he was the one who had freed her and kept her safe from the knights and her master. He told him about how she died, shamelessly allowing tears to fall freely down his face. If Arthur wanted to know the truth, then he would know all of it. Merlin had loved Freya, and not a day passed by that he didn't miss her painfully. Arthur remained silent, but placed a hand on Merlin's shoulder, hoping it would provide some degree of comfort.

After a substantial amount of encouragement, Merlin told him about Balinor, about how he was really Merlin's father and that when he died, he had passed on his dragonlord gifts to Merlin, and how he had used that power to stop The Great Dragon when it had attacked Camelot.

He also mentioned somewhat reluctantly that he had allowed him to go free, as he had ordered him never to attack Camelot or it's people again. Arthur remembered how completely devastated Merlin had been by the old dragonlord's death and now he finally understood the reason, his eyes shone with sympathy for the boy.

He had been through so much and had had to keep it hidden from everyone day after day. He had suffered so much and Arthur hadn't even known.

Merlin continued his tale into the night, yawning as he became more vague and less concerned about the King's reactions.

'So I followed him on my own and stopped him taking the egg, then brought it back to Camelot and returned it to Kilgharrah-'

'You did WHAT?'

Merlin jumped out of his fatigued state with a jolt and looked at Arthur, guilt seeping into his features.

'I couldn't of just let you destroy it. If I had then the dragons would eventually be completely wiped out. An entire race, Arthur! Surely you understand?'

Arthur put his face in his hands and groaned. 'This is driving me crazy, I don't how much more information I can register.'

'See this is why I didn't tell you. You tiny mind cannot begin to comprehend-OW!'

Arthur smirked as Merlin rubbed the back of his head where the shoe had hit and and scowled at him.

'Sometimes I wonder why I bother keeping you save. My life would be a lot less painful if I just let something eat you and be done with it.' Arthur chuckled and raised an eyebrow at the boy.

Despite their moans, Merlin continued his task of revealing the long and complex truth to Arthur, but skipped over the parts he deemed unimportant. Even so, he listed and explained every time he had protected Arthur from harm, making sure the King knew exactly how many times Merlin had risked his neck for him. From incidents that had occurred mere weeks ago, all the way back to when they had only just met.

'Wait, wait, wait.' Arthur waved Merlin to silence. 'So that blue light, the one that led me out of the cave? That was... you?'

Merlin coloured slightly and nodded. Arthur stared at him, his mouth slightly agape and eyes full of amazement. 'Merlin. You saved my life.'

The warlock couldn't help but snort at that. 'You act like it was the first time. I've lost count how many times I've saved your royal backside.'

Arthur laughed once, still staring with wide eyes at his manservant, as if seeing him in a completely new light.

'What?' Merlin inquired, shuffling nervously under the King's intense gaze. Arthur just laughed again and shook his head slightly in disbelief.

'You know it was that blue orb that first made me realize that magic was not all evil, and that maybe what I had learnt my whole life wasn't completely fair. If not for that, I imagine I would have followed exactly the same path as my father. Merlin, I cannot begin to explain how much that meant to me. I had never been so scared and helpless in all my life and it came like some sort of miracle. Except it wasn't a miracle. It was _you.'_

Merlin smiled sheepishly, his blush reaching his ears. 'Yeah well. It was nothing.'

Arthur burst out laughing, his eyes wide and shining. 'Greatest sorcerer that ever lived. And still as modest as they come. You're my Merlin all right.'

He clapped the boy's shoulder and stood up. He stretched, his arms reaching up to the ceiling and yawned with such intensity that it went on for a few seconds. He huffed and let his arms fall back down to his sides.

He then walked over to his bed and collapsed onto it.

Merlin snorted and stood also, collecting the King's food platters and dirty clothes from beside his bed. 'Will there be anything else, Sire?'

Arthur raised his head and grinned. 'That'll be all, Merlin. You can leave the rest of your tales for another day. Be careful not to blab about them too much. Don't want you getting too big a head for your scrawny shoulders.'

'I wouldn't be too worried, Sire. I'm sure you provide enough of that for the both of us.'

Arthur laughed again, loud and open and his head fell back down onto the bed covers. 'You know, you're almost like a friend, Merlin.'

'Almost.' Merlin grinned as he shut Arthur's chamber door with a slam.


	13. Epilogue

The sun beat down on two men sparing on the training fields in front of the castle. One held aloft a beautiful sword, and a Pendragon shield, that the man advanced on the other with at speed, making an attempt to attack, but was blocked and pushed back each time he tried.

To the unobservant, it was just another sparing practise. They happened frequently enough and so this was not exactly a strange sight to see, nor in any way suspicious.

Except no sound came from the fight. No echo of clanging metal or swinging swords, nor the grunt that would be expected from such a vicious practise. The battle was silent, as if the pair were contained inside a soundless bubble.

Granted, one of them was the most skilled knight in the whole of Camelot, but the reason behind this was mostly because the other was completely unarmed, and making no movement whatsoever to protect himself from each attack.

Or so it would seem.

Arthur hammered his sword down again towards the boy, not even flinching despite said boy not having a weapon or shield on him to defend himself. The sword however, seemed to rickashay off thin air and be pushed back towards the knight.

He raised it again, and again, slamming in down towards the boy with brutal force, but each time it left not a scratch on him, and ended up by the King's side once more.

Merlin blocked each attack with a frankly lazy flick of his wrist, effortlessly keeping Arthur at bay and making no move to disarm him or retaliate the blows.

'C'mon _Mer_lin put your back into it!' another swing, another block. 'I thought you were supposed to be _good_? Attack me!'

Merlin rolled his eyes and huffed, protecting himself now with only a slight movement of his fingers. 'Arthur, this is stupid. There is no need to-'

Arthur cut him off with a sudden change of direction and the warlock only just managed to deflect the blade as it came a hairs breath away from the side of his neck. The King laughed, harshly.

'If you are going to be fighting alongside the Knights of Camelot, then you need to be trained up! From what I can see you're no where _near _the standard you need to b- OH FOR GODNESS SAKES I WAS WIDE OPEN!'

He threw up his hands in disbelief as Merlin once again retracted his invisible shield and just stood there, making no attempt to even _try _and make it a fair fight.

The King snorted and raised his eyebrows. 'Seems you're as useless as a sorcerer as you were a servan- hey!'

He suddenly felt himself being lifted up by some invisible force and tipped upside down, causing him to drop his sword in shock and grab onto his chain mail to stop it clashing down onto his face.

Momentarily disorientated, all he heard was a giggle from somewhere below him that, after a moment, turned into full-on hysterical laughter.

'_MERLIN.' _Arthur growled as fiercely as he could. 'Put. Me. _Down.'_

Hearing the King's voice so full of rage would have sent any servant (and most knights) running for their lives, but unfortunately it only made Merlin laugh harder, as he fell to his knees and tried to catch his breath, tears streaming down his face as Arthur flailed about in mid-air, trying to break free of his invisible chains that kept him suspended.

Above Merlin's relentless giggling, a deeper, more dignified chuckle broke free, getting louder as Gwaine approached his levitating King, and his best friend who was still unable to get up from his position on the floor. 'Dear oh dear. What happened, Princess?'

'Don't even-' Arthur glared down at his incapacitated manservant and then up at the Knight, who was grinning like a child on Christmas day. 'Just. Get me down.'

'No can do I'm afraid' Gwaine gestured down towards the boy on the floor. 'He's not about to let up any time soon and I'll be damned if I can magic you down.' He wiggled his fingers at the man, mock -casting a spell.

Arthur grunted in frustration and annoyance.

'Then how am I supposed to get out of _this?' _

Gwaine gave an exaggerated shrug, one that just said, 'What-cha gunna do?'

'I'm- I'm sorry!' Merlin gasped as he raised his head from the grass. 'I'm sorry, I'll let you dow-' taking another look at Arthur's pout as he hung upside down with his arms folded across his chest just made him collapse to the floor again, unable to breath through his laughter.

'MERLIN!'

'Okay, okay!' With a stammer and a raised hand, Arthur turned upright again and glided back down to the grass. The second his boots touched ground the King surged forward, his eyes murderous.

Gwaine managed to grab Merlin to his feet, and the boy scrambled away from the furious man, sprinting across the training field, still giggling uncontrollably as Arthur hollered profanities at his retreating figure and ran after him.

'I am going to _KILL YOU!'_

'Is that before or after you admit I can, in fact, take you out with less than one blow?'

All he got in reply was a low growl of fury and he sped up his pace.

'C'mon, Sire! We'll have to put you back on that diet if you can't even keep up with your own servant!' Merlin swivelled round so he was running backwards and said in a low, accurate imitation of Arthur's voice. 'Put your back into it.'

They were the last words out of his mouth before he slammed into the training dummy he didn't see coming up behind him and fell to the floor. Arthur pounced on him and soon Merlin was squirming underneath the King's weight, hands held behind his back with strong arms, twisted into submission until he cried out in defeat.

'Fine! Fin- OW! Get _off _me you bloody pillock!' Frustrated wisps of magic struck Arthur in his shoulder and neck, giving the sensation of bee stings on his skin. The man chuckled at the pathetic attack.

'Is that any way to thank me? You're off to a good start. You'll have to keep up that standard of entertainment if you want to be successful tonight.'

Merlin stopped squirming and, since his couldn't turn to look Arthur in the eye, stared at the dirt under his face. 'What the hell have I got to be thankful to you for? Successful in what?'

'Oh _sorry _didn't I say?' Arthur leant down right to Merlin's ear and whispered with a grin that Merlin could feel stretched right across his face, 'I've made you Court Sorcerer, Merlin.'


End file.
